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Saturday, August 01, 2009

The Soccer AM/MW Dictionary

We know what's it like, now you've find something you really like, but you discover you're jumping onto a bandwagon that's already been chugging along for a while.

So, if you feel the need to get up to speed with all those stupid nicknames and know all the background so you can understand the 'in-jokes,' you can do so here.

The Soccer AM/MW Dictionary:

Clouds (n): Home ground of the Skyrockets, due to their style of play.

Cream cracker (adj): Incredibly good. Example: "That was a cream cracker of a goal!"

DF (n): Abbreviation for ex-Preston boss Darren Ferguson. Also stands for - Dreadful Failure, Dead F****d, Doomed For, Diarhhetic Fart, Depressingly Frightning, and Dreadful Future. All, ironically, describing Preston under Ferguson.

Doctor Lakes (n): General Practitioner, football club physician, and regular attendee of malpractice law suit cases.

Enron Turlman (n): Former Wall Street banker known for his financial prowess and making outlandish pre-season predictions for Football League clubs.

Harry Small (n):
Dodgy football agent, mistakingly believed to have died in 2007.

Kettles (n):
Nickname of Kettering Town FC. Seemed more appropriate than the Poppies. Link: Kettles Watch

Lakes (n):
Craig Laycock.
One third of the Soccer AM/MW team. Winner of Australia's 2010 "Pom of the Year."

NMS (n): New Manager Syndrome. A world-first acronym coined by Nobes to describe the upturn in fortunes a team experiences when a new manager first takes charge.

Nobes (n): Seb Noble. One third of the Soccer AM/MW team. Recovering Irn Bru addict.

Oxen (n): Nickname of Oxford United FC. Again, the plural for Ox seemed more appropriate and unique than the U's.

Shaw (v): To speculate wildly. Believed to, sarcastically, originate from former Preston chairman Derek Shaw.

Skyrockets (n): Nickname of Boston United FC, originating from their apparent long-ball approach during the '80s.

Soak and bounce (n): Style of football where a side defends deep for long periods before swiftly counter-attacking.

Taste the difference (adj): Personal declaration of superior gamesmanship, most commonly in football computer games. Example: "... and Preston now on the ball. Melllllllooooorr! (as ball hits net) Taste the difference!"

Turlando (n):
Armenian footballer and client of Harry Small. Died in a pool accident in 2008.

Turls (n): Matt Turland. One third of the Soccer AM/MW team. Enjoys home baking.

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