Turls reflects upon the wranglings between the Premier and Football Leagues over a new deal over the distribution of money.
"What's this? The Premier League have started handing out charity?
"Say it isn't so. I never thought I'd see the day. They are offering extra money to the clubs in the Football League. This is incredible news! Hang on a second... the Football League have turned it down. I'm confused."
This is likely to be the generic thought pattern of your average Premier League fan over the next few weeks as the Premier League and the Football League try to sort out a new deal over parachute payments and other financial issues.
The Sky's Super Top-Flight of Champions - known as the Premier League - received a little extra cash in their international television deal.
However, instead of distributing the money to the current members of the top flight, they decided to 'generously' hand the money over to the Football League clubs and recently relegated Premier League clubs.
Now, on the face of it, this sounds like a fair deal for all. The Football League gets some extra money in the coffers and the Premier League is made to look like some form of corporate combination of Jesus and Santa Claus.
However, when you scratch the surface and look at the details of this proposed deal, you realise that the word fair doesn't even come into the equation.
This new deal is aimed to help clubs who fall out of the Premier League. The current parachute payments are already a farce and promote an undeniable level of inequality.
Relegated clubs will have benefited from the year spent in the Premier League - believed to be around £40 million.
Throw in the fact that they will continue to receive more money than every other Championship club simply because they used to play in the Premier League and it is clear to see that the top-dogs of the top flight want these clubs to come straight back up.
I could talk about parachute payments for a long time, but I'll try and keep it short and sweet. Parachute payments are a farce. How any sport can justify rewarding failure is beyond me.
They dress it up as 'helping a club stay afloat financially' but all it is doing is encouraging clubs to spend beyond their means in a desperate bid to stay in the Premier League.
This proposed deal is mainly concerned with giving the relegated clubs even more money in the form of parachute payments. This is a huge concern for all clubs in the Football League and that's why they rejected the initial payments.
The fears of Leagues One and Two are that the new deal will create a Premier League Junior in the shape of the Championship - making it much harder for any club to try and work their way through the leagues.
The fears of current Championship clubs are that this deal will mean relegated clubs will have an even greater advantage over them in the race for promotion.
The deal is a joke. It's nothing more than a sweetener. As it stands, the Premier League is trying to force the Football League into changing their rules so they are aligned with their current ruling system.
If the Football League accepts this deal, then they have will have to agree with the Premier League's demands.
If they refuse to accept the deal, then it's believed that the Championship with take a leaf out of the Premier League's book and break away from the rest of the Football League.
I'm not going to comment too much on that because anyone who thinks that this is a good idea deserves to be taken outside and hit with a stick. Repeatedly. Until they start to look like Luke Chadwick.
The Premier League is trying to ensure that a collection of 25 teams always appear in the top flight. They don't like it when someone like Burnley turn up and spoil the party.
They don't like clubs who get promoted and then bring shame on the top flight - like Derby. They want to do away with competition and mould the Championship in the shape of the Premier League.
Gone are the days where Ipswich or Nottingham Forest could finish in the top four. They want to make the rich richer and they don't care who gets hurt in the process.
This season, when anyone has discussed the financial state of football, everyone looks at Portsmouth. Fair enough, they're in the top flight and won the FA Cup not so long ago.
The next topic is Crystal Palace, but that seems to be because they had a loud-mouthed chairman who did his best to keep the club afloat.
Apart from that, no-one seems to give a monkeys about the numerous clubs who are going into administration. No-one seems to cares that Chester have folded, Kings Lynn have folded, Farsley Celtic have gone.
This is just the tip of the iceberg but, because they don't have 'the honour' of playing at Old Trafford every season, the media doesn't give a toss.
If this deal goes ahead, it will be another nail in the coffin of the lower league fan. It will result in more clubs disappearing from the face of football and will leave more fans with nothing to do on a Saturday.
Who cares about that though? As long as the Premier League keeps forging ahead, it doesn't really matter if football stops in the rest of the country.