If Turls was in charge of FIFA...

It's Turls's turn to tell us what he would do if given the opportunity of making the rules of the beautiful game.

If I were in charge of FIFA...

Firstly, I'd make UEFA my bitch and scrap the UEFA Champions League. Bring back the European Cup. Now I know that I'm probably a little too young to fully appreciate the joys of the European Cup but it sounds like a fantastic time.

The days when you had to actually win your league to grace the top table of footballing competition. I don't want to dwell on it too much - but the Champions League is a sham. A SHAM I TELL YOU!

It's easy to jump on board the goal line technology idea but, to me, it seems a bit crap. Why have all that technology just to see if a ball has crossed the line. If you're going to bring in TV replays and stuff then I'd like to see a system similar to that of NFL.

You get three challenges and it is up to the captain or manager to make the decision. It can be used for dubious goals, penalties, and sending offs - to see if the offender made contact with the ball first.

Personally, I like that there are mistakes made by referees. It gives us fans something to discuss in the pub afterwards.

Without talking points, MoTD and the Football League Show would be pointless and would just show goals goals and more goals. No discussion, no debate, no fun.

Finally, if I were in charge of FIFA, I would make Neil Warnock, Sam Allardyce, and Harry Redknapp an offence. I would punish them for being obnoxious, odious individuals who don't have an ounce of decency between them.

Tomorrow, what would Lakes do if he was in charge of FIFA?

Prediction League Week 22

A special Prediction League update as we turn our focus on the FA Cup third round with both Preston and Forest in action.

We like to think we're expert predictors here at Soccer AM/MW so we've decided to go head to head with the BBC's very own Mark Lawrenson [right] for this week's predictions.


Nottingham Forest vs. Birmingham City




Lakes: 2-1

I think Forest will buck the predictions and win deservedly against Birmingham.

Nobes: 1-1

Birmingham lost to Huddersfield in this competition a couple of years back, so they're no strangers to being on the end of an upset. They're a stronger team now though, and on a long unbeaten run. So are Forest though, and a draw looks likely.

Turls: 1-2

Forest seem to have picked a bit of a bum draw here. Although they have drawn a Premier League team it's not one of the exciting high-flyers. I reckon Forest will give a good go at it but Birmingham's quality will prove too much.

Lawro: 2-2

In Forest and Birmingham we have the form team of the Championship taking on the form team of the Premier League. I just wonder whether Alex McLeish will be tempted to leave out one or two players. Billy Davies is doing a fantastic job at the City Ground and they've had no problems scoring goals.


Preston North End vs. Colchester United





Lakes: 1-0

I can see this being a lacklustre game overall, but Preston should have enough to overpower Colchester.

Nobes: 2-1

Alan Irvine was harshly dismissed by North End this week and I wonder if they're ripe for an upset. Colchester are bang in form and Aidy Boothroyd's sides are always difficult to face, but surely Preston will want to impress any potential new manager?

Turls: 2-0

The FA Cup is meant to be romantic and cause upsets. There's a reason one team is a higher league than the other though. Preston will outclass a Colchester side who does not travel well.

Lawro: 1-0
Lawro neglected to include his prediction for his own team on the BBC website [You don't think he actually spoke to us, do you?] Therefore, we'll put him down for a Preston win, as he's always biased. Let's just say, 1-0. Sorry Mark.

If Nobes was in charge of FIFA...

Time for a New Year wish. As 2010 dawns and a whole new decade approaches, the lads consider the changes they would like to see made to the beautiful game in the future.

What would they do if they were in charge of FIFA to make the game better?

Nobes takes up the mantle first...


I suppose the most worrying thing is when considering all the changes I could make, is that it only drew to my attention just how annoying and ridiculous some of the rules in football are.

There are lots of little things I'd love to change. For instance, just what is the point of booking players for celebrating goals? Isn't that the whole point of the game?

Why then should they receive a caution if they are celebrating right in front of their own fans, or if they remove their shirt when scoring? There's no harm in it. That should be scrapped.

And whilst we're scrapping rules, how about that ridiculous law that states a linesman shouldn't put his flag up to indicate offside until the player actually touches a ball? It's nonsensical, and wastes far more time than any video technology to help sort out disputed decisions ever would.

However, the one thing I would like to change more than anything is introducing punishments for dishonesty. We should be able to use to video technology to retrospectively punish players who lie and cheat and seek to gain an advantage.

And I include everything in that - diving, feigning injury, trying to get a fellow professional sent off, or even appealing for decisions that are clearly not in their favour.

Extreme? Perhaps. But tough sanctions would sure as hell crack down on this culture of deceit currently rife in the game. More honesty would have to be my wish for the next decade. Well that, and banning Alex Ferguson from football.


Tomorrow, what would Turls do if he was in charge of FIFA?